Taking Forced Action
I believe fear and anxiety are the drivers for why we don’t do the things we say that we want to. When I was struggling to make ends meet, I was consumed with negative emotions. I didn’t want to take action because:
I didn’t want to fail
I didn’t think I could succeed
I didn’t think I was capable
It was unfamiliar or new territory
I didn’t feel confident
I might get hurt
I might embarrass myself
I felt all of those things. And you can probably think of your own reasons why you don’t take action when you know you really should.
Lets talk about what I’m calling: Forced Action. Forced Action is exactly what says. You are forcing yourself to take action even when your feelings tell you differently. Certainly feelings are important, but there are times when our feelings are not our best friend. And in fact, they drive us in the opposite direction we want to go. We have to choose to not allow those feelings to dictate the choices we make.
Forced Action is the commitment to yourself that you will take a small step no matter the emotion you’re feeling.
Forced Action does not mean: I’m going to immediately run a marathon. Sometimes we think that we should immediately start off at a level that no one can actually start at. What it does mean is: I’m going to lace up my shoes, and jog two steps. That’s it. Two steps. And then the next time, it’s another two. And another two. And another two. Or maybe now you decide you’re going to be extremely brave and take three. and then eventually it’s four. And then you know what. You’ve completed a marathon. And a marathon stands for whatever your own goal is.
For me it was to be financially independent. Every day I had to get up and take steps towards financial independence no matter how uncomfortable it was.
By taking forced action, we remap our brain. Over time, as we see that we actually can handle whatever it is that we fear, we slowly begin to believe in ourselves. Consider learning to drive a car. Who remembers that? Well, I actually don’t because it’s been so long ago, but over the last 28 years I’ve taught five boys to drive. And initially it’s really really hard. They are learning all the components. Breaking. Steering. Turning. Parking. How fast is too fast. How slow is too slow. Each one of these creates new synaptic connections in the brain. On the first day of driving, one pathway is laid down. On day two you add another new pathway and revisit the old one. On day three you revisit the two from the previous days and lay down a new one. As you do this your brain is learning and confidence is being shaped.
It’s the same thing with fear and anxiety. The first time you take that small step is petrifying. But the next time, it’s less so. And the next time it’s less so. And then before you know it you realize that you actually can do the thing that terrified you. OR if you can’t do it, you now know that it won’t kill you. Both a great things to learn! But this cannot be learned unless you take forced action in spite of how you feel.
If you don’t make a choice to begin to take small steps into the unknown, you will never complete your marathon. You’re not going to wake up one morning and bound out of bed ready to run 26.2 miles. It’s not happening. You have to start today with just one little step. Teaching your brain and yourself that you are brave. And you can overcome the obstacles life has put in your way.