“Just Because” Strawberry Cake and Maslow’s Hierarchy
Are you glad it’s summer? I cannot express my joy enough over warmer weather and blue skies! AND that we are getting on the other side of this pandemic.
I’ve not posted here in a hot minute. I’ve been extremely busy working on several opportunities to advance my career. Since my divorce and stent on welfare, my life has been consumed with a few primary things: ensuring my sons are cared for to the best of my ability; paying my bills; getting off welfare; purchasing a home; and getting to a place of financial peace. Over the last ten years, I’ve busted my tail and achieved all of these except the financial peace part. Oh certainly I’ve had enough money to pay the bills now. And even save some. But I’ve not been able to figure out how I will ever retire. That causes an underlying chronic anxiety about my future. There are times where I am overwhelmed with the idea that I may one day, in fact, be a burden to society and my boys.
Because of this, my eyes are always on the next step in my career. I’ve never felt like I could rest where I was because I knew I had to be ready to make a move to increase my salary. These last few months I’ve been working on that and I’m proud to say that through a series of very specific events, I was offered a promotion on my current team with a significant increase in my salary! For the first time in as long as I can remember I am finally able to rest. I don’t have to worry about my next step. I don’t have to put in the endless energy to learn a new role; a new business; a new leader. In every way, I am eternally grateful and a little bit surprised to have landed here. I think I thought it would never really happen. When I say “Hard work pays off” it really eventually does!
The last few weeks, as this has been sinking in, there’s been a noticeable change in my mind. A lightness. A freeness. There is space in my mind that hasn’t been there in many many years. maybe ever, if I’m honest with myself.
An example of this occurred recently. I miraculously had a weekend completely to myself! My son that lives with me, and my sons that live close by, were all out of town. And while I adore time with my boys {highlight of my life to spend time with them!}, I relish moments where it’s just me. When I can do whatever I want to do. It’s such a treat! {Remember: I’ve been raising boys for 28 years!!}
I did so many lovely things. I slept in. Went to the farmers market. Drank cold brew coffee and listened to a jazz guitarist by the Savannah River. And then…I went strawberry picking. I haven’t been strawberry picking since…I don’t know when. But we have a local farm here and you can pick all the strawberries you want! It’s about a 25 minute drive out of town on a country road. If you haven’t driven on country roads in the South on a summer day, you are missing out! Blue skies. Trees in every shade of green you can imagine. Just lovely! I arrived at the farm, parked with the other families who had brought their children to pick strawberries, and headed out to the fields. I picked a full bucket, paid for them and headed home. And when I got home, I gathered all the ingredients to make a strawberry cake. For no reason. Just Because I wanted to and I had the mental capacity to make an elaborate cake from scratch and be creative.
Prior to divorce and welfare, one of my creative outlets was cooking. I love baking and being creative in the kitchen. For years though, this creative drive of mine was suppressed. Suppressed because, as the famous psychologist Abraham Maslow explains, we are unable to make progression in life unless certain basic needs are met. Physiological needs, such as air, food, and water. And Safety and Security needs, which includes financial security.
It’s been very enlightening to experience the progression of moving from a place low on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs to a higher level. To experience my brain freeing up. To move from being nearly incapable of creative thought to being creative. And I must say, this is just one aspect of my mind becoming free. There are so many other ways that my arrival here is beneficial both to me and those around me as my capacity for personal awareness, growth, and understanding expands.
If you are low on Maslow’s Hierarchy as I have been, my heart goes out to you. I know the struggle you are in. Keep pressing forward. Keep doing what you must to advance your life. Eventually, this will pay off. Keep your eyes focused on the future, and find resources to help where you can.
For those who are higher up the hierarchy, look around you. Do you see others who are low on Maslow’s Hierarchy? Do you see any children? I think about the children who live a life in fear. Or hunger. Or sleep deprivation. How many great minds have been starved because they didn’t have their basic needs met.
I’m eternally grateful for the many many people who invested in me all these years. Some invested in me financially. Some invested in my children. Some invested in my career helping me develop the business acumen I so desperately needed. I wouldn’t be where I am today were it not for them.
Allow me to challenge you: How are you making a small investment in your corner of the world? If we each did those small little things, you know what they are…they are those things that come to your mind and are forgotten or dismissed. If we all did those small seemingly insignificant things that cross our paths, imagine what we could accomplish! It’s in these small actions that we take midst the mundane living we do…the day in and day out…this is where we make our impact. I am living proof that these small things make an exponential difference.
And with that..I wish you all a wonderful, peaceful and productive June!
Until we chat again,
Shelley
P.S. I recently finished my 52 Living Ideas series on MeetUp. I’ll begin posting those to my blog this summer. Stay tuned!
