Purpose or Passion
One of the things I love most about my job is connecting with my clients in person! The pandemic certainly put a damper on travel and meetings, but now that things have opened back up I’ve been do a LOT of travel making up for lost time.
Recently, I was in Atlanta conducting a Lunch & Learn. I start every lunch and learn with a little ice breaker. It’s a game called “This or That and Why”. These are so much fun! Usually it’s something like: Oreos or Chocolate Chip Cookies and Why? Or Yacht or Private Jet and Why? Usually funny or light hearted. But this past week one of the questions was: Purpose or Passion and Why? One gal’s response was gold: Purpose, because purpose often times turns into your passion. Insightful!
I think back to a time before I had kids. I was pretty purposeless I would say. Also clueless. As are many young people when first starting out in the world. But I got pregnant very quickly after marriage and that certainly, and thankfully, shook me up! I quickly realized that I was ill equipped to do a good job at parenting. So my purpose became: Shelley get up to speed on being a better person so you don’t completely ruin this new human’s life! I began reading all the parenting books. Talking to and observing experienced parents.
As a goal and task oriented person, I developed goals based off of ideals. And I began implementing these. However, down the road I had this epiphany: My goals and my tasks were not as important as the people, my little people, I was attempting to positively impact. I realized that I needed to put my checklist down. I needed to look them in the eye. Listen to them more. Hear what they were saying. Be present with them. This began a life long journey for me, as my default is always going to point back to goals and lists.
Out of this purpose, my passion began to develop. I so desperately wanted success for my children. And by success I discovered I didn’t mean: happiness, or money, or things. By success I meant:
A relationship with me whereby they when they were adults, they sought out my advise.
They had the ability to identify, face and own their flaws, looking clearly in a mirror and make the necessary changes within them to be the very best version of themselves they can possibly be.
They understood that a well lived life encompassed the ability to focus on contentment with joy as opposed to happiness, which is fleeting and circumstantial.
That’s been my focus, done well in some seasons and poorly in others. Thankfully, my kids love me in spite of flaws!
The transition from being a stay-at-home mom to a career woman was excruciatingly hard. So many tears shed as I wept for the loss of my dream. I loved being at home. I always said: this is my career choice. But after my divorce, I had to figure out a new life. I had to find a way to support myself and my kids. I spent many years feeling incredibly unsuccessful. Making a living that didn’t fully support me; seeing my peers in elevated roles; struggling each day to find my path. But you know what…that passion that had developed years before began to rise to the surface as I took tiny little steps each day. My passion of helping others to succeed. I began to realize that even outside of my children, I really loved to come along side others and help them to be the very best version of themselves. My aim became finding a role in Client Success, and nine years after my divorce I landed there.
My oldest son turns 30 this year. 30 years ago as my purpose was forming and eventually becoming my passion, I could never have predicted that I would land here. That I would have the privilege of my impact spreading beyond my immediate circle to a career outside my home. That not only do my children seek my counsel, but they bring their friends to me. My leader entrusts me to mentor team members. What an honor, privilege and adventure!
Perhaps you are feeling purposeless. Perhaps there is no passion in your life right now. Maybe you feel aimless. Or confused. Or hopeless. I have fluxed in and out of those emotions as well as we are not static individuals. While I cannot know your exact situation, struggle or trial I can tell you that the very best thing you can do is force yourself to take your next step. It doesn’t have to be the perfect step. You don’t have to even know if it’s the right step. You just have to take it. Because every step is forward motion and during the hardest of times, forward motion is the very best thing you can do.
Thank you for reading my blog post! If you have any comments or questions, please don’t hesitate to drop me a note through my website.
All my best,
Shelley